Episode 42: Reality Vs. The Interwebs

Today’s post is inspired by the following image. I discovered it while perusing LOLPics, and would like it made absolutely clear that I asked no permission whatsoever to use it here, but seeing as the app has a “download” option, I’m going to assume I can use it here anyway. Public domain, blah blah blah, uncopywrited, jargon, other smart sounding words. And so, the image:

So what about this image inspires me? How different the attitudes between the two worlds are. I got to thinking about why those two attitudes are truly what you will find when you mention that you’re feeling a little less than cheerful.

The answer I came up with is a two parter. First, that on the internet, people are much more open about who they are to start with and therefore form closer bonds with those people. Second, that though the people you talk to in real life will be in a much better position to actually help you, that help well require more effort, and is (to a certain degree) expected as a result of friendship. People tend to shy away from effort, especially when there’s no obvious gain for themselves to be gotten from putting the effort in. Now let’s examine both points…

Forming a close bond with someone is an impressive feat, and we should all do it more often. As much as I rail against people all the time, I think we have a lot of redeeming qualities, and no one should be given up on completely (although the value of continued faith is questionable with certain people, but that’s a topic for another day). People feel a sense of freedom on the internet. Though there is plenty of judgement, there’s also a good amount of anonymity. You don’t need to reveal any more or less than you want to. The sad part is that often the friend you’ve chosen to bond with lives quite far away. It makes normal social interaction difficult at best, and without the live interaction certain images may be formed of the person you’re getting to know that are entirely false, and those lies could ruin whatever friendship you have should you both meet in person at some point and the lies be revealed. It’s a dangerous game. Still, it’s one worth playing, in my opinion. My long distance friends were some of the first I truly felt connected to and who I felt I could turn to I’m my times of need. But a closer bond implies more willingness to be a confidant and shoulder to cry on (or partner in any murders, as the image implies). When you’re far away from each other, the options available for actual help are extremely limited. Words come cheap, as they say, and so they’re given easily.

Which leads me to the second point. Words might come cheap, but taking real action doesn’t. Be honest with yourself when you answer the question I’m about to ask. If you have a friend you see occasionally, but who isn’t exactly one of your closest friends. If they came to you talking about how they’re sad, would you go out of your way to help them? It’s tempting to say that of course you would, but even I probably wouldn’t. Of course I’d listen to them, maybe offer some advice (which are easily accomplished for your internet friends as well), but let’s say they’re broke and needed to borrow a hundred dollars to cover some costs. Would you give it to them? I probably wouldn’t. And I don’t think that makes me any more of a terrible person, but the fact of the matter is that I’m not even remotely alone in that decision. These days, $100 isn’t really that much, for those that actually bother saving any money, but to get it, lend it, and trust that someone to pay it back is a huge commitment.

So where does that leave us? In a world that’s at least a little bit sadder than we’d like to admit. But it could be worse. At least we do have some people we can count on. And besides; now that we know this, we can look into being better friends to the people we know right here in our own backyards.

Or don’t. Your call, as always.

Episode 41: A Wee Bit Of An Overreaction

Now as I start this rant about the situation in Ferguson (yes, I had to write one too), you should know that I am taking neither side on this issue. I want it to be very clear that I don’t agree with the general population, nor the government. HOWEVER. I think at this point, it’s the population’s responsibility to calm down, go home, and stop all the rioting. The police and national guard are not just going to be like “oh, they still won’t go home… Well, we give up. Pack up and go home, boys! Chaos and anarchy have the streets now!” It’s not going to happen, no matter how much you want it to. The situation has now escalated too far, and in order to maintain control and keep this from escalating even further, they will use whatever means necessary. I can fully predict more deaths if this continues as it is much longer. But let’s examine this critically, shall we? Right from the very beginning.

Here we have a random 18 year old, black male. Let’s just say for argument’s sake, that for all intents and purposes, he’s probably a decent fellow. But he made a stupid decision. He figured on stealing a box of cigars. As far as I know, this fact is yet to be debated, so I’m holding it as truth, because the officer in question did as well when he confronted this young man. Perhaps the officer thought the kid had a weapon. Perhaps he thought he was going to run. More than likely his training was less than adequate for the situation, and sadly more idiots are finding jobs in critical positions because we’ve fostered an atmosphere of no failures (that’s a rant for another day). So this underprepared idiot officer shot this young idiot kid. The kid dies, and for a moment we’ll pause events. I think you know where I’m going with this already, but here’s my point anyway: they were both idiots. There were overreactions, stupid choices, and all around it was just a terrible tragedy of a situation. Is it sad? Of course. Is it an opportunity to learn as a species and find ways to prevent it from happening again? Absolutely. Was it a racial issue? No. I don’t believe it ever was. Is it cause to riot in the streets? Hell no. But that’s exactly what people did. And so, I welcome you to stupid decision number three.

Sure the riots began as a peaceful protest. I guess there’s nothing wrong with that on its own, if you set aside the fact that I think it was completely unnecessary, since the protest concerned the idea that it was a racially motivated event, and I don’t believe it was. But you will inevitably get those idiots in any larger protest, who think the perfect way to make their message and their anger heard is to break stuff up and go looting and rioting. Cue the police reaction, trying to disperse the crowd with loud noises, tear gas, etc. you’ll notice, I hope, that they started with non-destructive and non-lethal options. But when the crowd did not in fact disperse, and a curfew was having no effect either, they decided stricter measures were necessary. And that’s why we now find ourselves faced with tanks and other signs of military presence in Ferguson, a small (relatively) town somewhere in Missouri that most people hadn’t even really heard of before a few weeks ago.

It is a tragedy. Don’t get me wrong. But we got to where we are today, with three stupid decisions. Add another stupid decision or two in there, and say goodbye to peace in your own country. There will be civil unrest and death everywhere in the United States. And a small part of me thinks that maybe they need the wake-up call. That they’ve become too complacent, too comfortable in the idea of their own superiority (a problem I find developing in Canada too, much to my dismay). But by and large, I don’t think that any of this is necessary. What IS necessary is educating people on how to get along with each other. How to make sure that we all work together towards a brighter future. How to think critically and make solid, logical decisions. So that stupid shit like this doesn’t happen again.

I’m sorry for what happened, but get your act together, Ferguson. You’re a perfect example of everything that’s wrong with the human race right now.

Episode 40: Losing Sight

It’s been almost two months since my last post, and for that I apologize. Life has been pretty busy, and I just didn’t really find much to inspire me to rant and rave. Recent developments, however, have changed all that…

In the news the last little bit, we’ve heard about someone getting stabbed at the Toronto Caribbean Festival, and then two deaths and several ill after taking shady drugs at the Veld Music Festival. A friend very aptly pointed out that where there are large gatherings of people, your odds of finding violence or death increase. Fair enough. But then someone commented, and I responded by mentioning that the root of a lot of these problems is children not being raised properly. That parents don’t really take the time anymore, and (to use my own words) the deck is stacked against us in terms of improving the situation and making positive change. Now of course, you all know the internet. That comment sparked a war of sorts, which was resolved when I summarily tore apart every single one of the arguments against me (you think I’m kidding, but for a change I actually just tore them all to shreds).

And then up crops this foul-mouthed article (blog post?). It’s an interesting read, and a view that I have shared before, and occasionally continue to share. A lot of what he says, I cannot deny. But his message is largely a negative one. The only time he displays any positivity at all is at the very end, where he hopes that we can still have hope. But let’s be honest, even that isn’t very positive.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t disagree with anything he says in his rant (except maybe one or two minor points). It’s very well structured, his arguments are sound, and most importantly they match up to the opinions I had already formed. My only issue is his outlook for our future. Yes, I agree that things look bleak, but I just can’t shake the feeling that things have always looked bleak, and yet as a species, we’ve always managed to pull through in the past. My greatest concerns aren’t what we’re doing to each other, but rather what we’re doing to our planet. We’re surprisingly resilient creatures. We can bounce back from things that some people might consider impossible. The planet is resilient too, but there are now over 7 billion of us on the planet all clamouring for the same limited resources. That would put a strain on any eco system.

And yes, some might argue that the scarcity of those resources is exactly why there’s so many problems with the “elite” and the poor. Fair point. But as a species, we will still push past that crisis. Even if there’s mass starvation, and the greater portion of the population dies, still there will remain some, and they can begin the process of repopulation.

Oh, but every life deserves to live, you’ll say. True, they do. But should it come down to scrambling for resources where only the fittest and richest survive? I would surely never make it out alive either. I’m not saying my life is worthless, but we all know the consequences of having too many of us on this single planet. That’s just the way things go. Sure, it’ll suck. But what can I do? At least I’ll know that the fittest, smartest and (hopefully, but doubtfully) nicest of us will survive. We will go on to become greater as a species than we were before.

That being said, we’re not at that point yet. And we don’t have to be, either. Change would be good, and if it can be acheived, then so much the better. But it’s a long, wearisome process, and it requires all of us to work together. Not just on our own partisan ideals, but on a genuine, better-for-everyone, goal. Perhaps it’s interplanetary or interstellar travel, so we can populate new worlds and therefore ease the strain on this one. Perhaps its to spread the resources more evenly (although in my opinion that’s a temporary fix). Or perhaps we should engage in mass murder and genocide (but I think Hitler and many others have shown us how that one will turn out).

It’s a fascinating problem, and I don’t have the answer. I don’t know where we’re headed. But I’m going to focus on enjoying the journey, no matter what that means for us, and I suggest you do too. It’s not all bad, you just have to keep your eyes a little more open to see the good. And if you don’t empathize with your fellow man (and woman, of course), you can never hope to see the good, because after all, we are all in this together.

Episode 39: A Broken System

So today Ontario voted (is voting? Not sure when the polls close, to be honest with you) for a new provincial leader. So the question we all asked ourselves (or those of us interested in politics anyway) was who to vote for.

Tim Hudak, with his “million jobs” plan? Kathleen Wynne with her 1.9% for an “Ontario Pension Plan”? Or perhaps Andrea Horwath and her tax credits for businesses that create new jobs? On the surface, each has their own merits and failings. You could spend hours agonizing over who to vote for. I mean, there are so many fine details that set them apart.

But here’s my problem, and I think the problem that a great many people have (especially on the younger end of the spectrum)… None of these options suit us. Now most people simply don’t bother going to a polling station, or else they spoil their ballot by doing silly things like writing in “Lucifer” as another option. Lately, the new trend is to “decline” your ballot. Basically, we’re given the option of refusing to vote. To decline the ballot, you have to go down to the polling station, and then immediately after they hand you your ballot, you hand it back. They record it separately from people who don’t show up to the polling station, and theoretically it’s supposed to signal to the politicians that you’re not happy with any of them and they’ll change their tactics.

But the problem goes deeper than that. Sure, we don’t like our options. But the reason why is that when you boil it all down, all politicians are the same. They have the same basic personality. And unfortunately we don’t believe that personality is compatible with being a good leader.

Not only that, but the system we work within is broken. It needs a complete overhaul, and unfortunately that’s unrealistic until such time as the system actually collapses. In which case it will be too late to change. So what do you do when your entire societal system is broken and there’s no fixing it? Well, a wild adventurous side of me screams anarchy. Total chaos and destruction would bring about change, but it would be tantamount to the collapse I mentioned earlier, and in the wake of the chaos, there’s a very real possibility that things get even worse.

So what is left to us then? Well the only solution I see is for some of us who see the flaws to enter the system and change it from within. But one or two alone won’t be enough. Many need to rise up and only collectively would we be able to create the change. I’ve said this before, people. Alone we are weak. It’s only when we’re working together that we accomplish great deeds.

A time of change is coming soon, people. Whether it’s for better or worse is entirely up to you.

Episode 38: Skewed Justice

Okay. So before anything else, I have to apologise. I fully meant to post something on the 6th, but things got a little out of hand because this was my birthday weekend, and so that’s why it’s now Tuesday when I’m posting this. Oh, and for those of you who are curious, it was quite the epic weekend to ring in a frightful 29 years.

So my first goal was going to be to mention D-Day. I’m sure you all saw plenty of tributes from TV or your Facebook news feed or whatever else. I’ll keep this one short and sweet. The men and women who were involved in World War 2 were (and are) ten times the man or woman you and I could ever hope to be. I’m not saying you’re a terrible person, just that they have seen more and done more. That some of the tales of heroism could never hope to be repeated without the same kind of circumstances.

Of course I had my own little moment of heroism just this past Sunday when a family of ducks needed to be relocated before they were run over by any of the hundreds of cars driving by. The poor mother had a broken leg though, and their future is still uncertain, but we did what we could and successfully moved the mum and her eight (very newly hatched) ducklings to a nearby small man-made lake (more of a pond, really). There was quite the sense of pride and accomplishment after the frantic scurry to prevent them from getting run over by cars. But that’s moving away from the real topic I wanted to discuss today, and I’ve done nothing but gloat over such a simple rescue, which kind of ain’t right.

So what am I talking about today, then? Double standards and hypocrisy. Primarily between men and women, but also just in general. For instance, I’ll bet you could remember at least one manager at work who’s yelled at you for doing something (let’s say being on Facebook) even though you’ll walk by a little later doing the exact same thing (using our earlier example, let’s say you see him laughing at some random post on Facebook). It’s infuriating, especially in certain cases where there’s nothing you can legally do about it, but you know it’s downright evil. But you might ask where’s the double standards between genders? Like you even have to…

The biggest ones have always centred around relationships. And it all begins with the initial search. I’m sure there are a few girls out there that defy this convention, but it seems to still remain the man’s “duty” to put forth the effort of wooing the girl, in order to gain that first date. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind putting in the effort. It’s nice to be able to do something special. But at the same time, I think it would be nice if even just once out of every ten times, I was the one having something special happen to me. But there are stigmas and expectations still lingering about, and most girls either don’t want to, don’t think they’ll have to or else are too afraid to put that effort in. At least in my experience. Maybe there just haven’t really been any girls attracted to me? In which case I have a million other questions, but I prefer to think that’s an unlikely scenario, and so we’ll skip it for now. What do I blame this stigma on? Well, actually, fairy tales. We’re all read them as children, and they come from a time when that was exactly the sort of thing that happened. It was the social norm for the man to be the one who woos, and the woman to just sit around and wait for it to happen. But as the social conventions changed and women gained equal rights, our fairy tales (and plenty of other things) did not change with them. Cinderella still waits for the prince to bring the shoe to her, Snow White still waits for “true love’s kiss” to awaken from her cursed sleep. Thankfully, newer stories (which I suppose we can call fairy tales for the sake of argument) have begun to incorporate more self-assured women, and with that comes what I believe is a more accurate portrayal of men: bumbling, good-hearted guys who really haven’t got a clue what’s going on, but are desperately trying to do right and win the girl at the same time. But these sorts of tales have yet to really have an impact yet, for two reasons. Firstly, they haven’t been around long enough. A generation that would really be affected by it hasn’t matured enough to really make use of it. But secondly, because we’re still flooding our children with the old tales on the basis that they’re classics. And I can’t disagree with them. They’re really quite wonderful tales sometimes, and well worth telling. But perhaps if we had a modernized version. Like Disney’s “Tangled” as a representation of Rapunzel. It’s still somewhat the same tale, but it’s been given a lift here, a little more magic there, and it actually became quite an impressive tale. And even though there’s still a bit of the same old stigma, it’s much less noticable. The female lead plays an important role throughout the tale, rather than just basically being a prop.

But there’s so much more. Women are still not assumed to have the same physical capabilities as men in even in a workplace environment. And while I’ll admit that the biology does (sort of) support that assumption, I can tell you first-hand that there are girls who not only are stronger than some men, but also far more energetic and productive. We should be treating things on an individual basis, but as usual we’re just making a blanket statement that women are incapable of some of the more physical tasks. And as much as I hate to say it, some women are encouraging that belief. I personally have heard some girls say how they fully intend to take advantage of the fact their managers don’t expect them to be able to work as hard as the men, and they let themselves be lazy.

I could go on I’m sure, but I think you have an idea of what I’m saying, and even if you don’t, then just pay more attention to some of the scenarios where men are compared to women, and you’ll see that the women are almost always assumed to be weaker, less capable, or otherwise not responsible for specific tasks or duties. Why am I concerned? Well partly because I do believe women are amazing and fully capable of being every bit the equal of (and in some cases far superior to) a man. And also partly because it’s sometimes tiresome to always have to be the strong one, and I wouldn’t mind having the opportunity to relax and let things come to me from time to time.

Yes, that’s right, I want to be lazy too, damnit.

Episode 37: Watch The World Burn

Today inspiration actually struck twice. They will both be posted, but I figured I’d let one of them wait until tomorrow, so look forward to that, yeah? But now onwards to today’s topic! I’m afraid it’s not a particularly happy one, but as per usual, I feel the need to weigh in on a trending topic.

So last night in Moncton, New Brunswick (that’s in Canada-land for those of you who aren’t), a lone shooter killed three RCMP officers (aka: mounties) and wounded two others. The latest I’ve heard has the shooter still not found or arrested, but the search is on, and for a good long time people were being urged to stay indoors and lock all their doors and windows. The suspect they’re searching for is Justin Bourque, who by all accounts, is a troubled soul. Seems he took issue with the police, and lately had become quite an angry fellow.

Now, I wasn’t originally going to write anything about this, because unfortunately mass shootings have been happening far too often lately for it to be shocking and worthy of comment when it does happen. But that’s when a friend of mine posted on Facebook, saying that we should take Justin’s lead, and question the government. That there’s more to this story than just some guy who went nuts and killed people. Now before I get yelled at by this friend, I should point out that she absolutely does not support his methods. Nor do I for that matter. But her discussion of the message intrigued me.

I think in this case it’s fair to assume that there is an intended message. That this poor soul wants us to understand something, even if it’s just where the source of his anger and frustration lie. Now, I agree that we should question our governments. You should never just blindly accept what anyone says, for that matter. Always do your research and understand every viewpoint before you make your decision. But there’s no way I can agree with his method. As far as I’m concerned, you can question all you want, but when you decide that violence is the way to get your message across, you cross the line from activist to lunatic.

Look at what Mahatma Gandhi or Nelson Mandela achieved in their lives. And neither one of them had any need for violence. They effected change through impassioned speeches and pacifistic resistance. In most cases they change the system by becoming a part of it, not apart from it.

Now, our current systems desperately require change. Especially our governments. But they need to be rebuilt from the ground up. We need the types of people who would never actually want to be politicians to be our elected officials. They’ll be far more likely to do a good job because they won’t have the self-serving self-aggrandizing personalities that real politicians do. They’ll make sensible decisions that benefit the entire country, not just a select few.

And if you get enough of them into low-echelon positions then sooner or later they will move up the ranks. The current generation of politicians has to retire someday, right? Once you’ve managed to get sensible people into enough government offices, then they can legally effect the changes that we need.

Think about the issue of same sex marriage. Fifty years ago, no one would have even considered tabling a bill concerning it. But because more politicians are being sworn into office that either ARE gay, or else have been brought up to be tolerant in respect to this issue, many countries have not only tabled, but also passed same sex marriage laws. Soon enough, maybe even in as little as five years’ time, I could see marijuana laws being passed in Canada to make it legal to own or grow small amounts. Hell, we’re already halfway there, with the medical marijuana laws.

So honestly, I haven’t bothered to look into this Justin Bourque fellow too much. And I doubt I will. But there’s more to this. If he was trying to effect change, why didn’t he target much more important people? Three low-level RCMP officers don’t make the laws, they merely enforce them and then return home to their families. Killing them won’t change anything and will only make him out to be a villain. Was he trying to inspire others to question the things they take for granted? How could he think that anyone would really focus on that when he’s given them something far more sensational to focus on?

But what about his mental state? To be driven to the point where you think violence is necessary takes a hell of a lot. I would venture that a lot of the pressure and stress he endured was self-inflicted. I have a lot of experience with stress, depression, and an otherwise generally unhappy life. But none of it will get better unless I make the changes necessary. That being said, I know the kind of effect that is to be had just from knowing that one of my friends cares enough to say something to me when I’m not feeling my best.

What’s the real lesson here? That we should question government and authority? Well, sadly yes we should. But that’s not the lesson. Is it that there are better ways to spread a message of change? There’s that too. And we’re getting closer to the lesson, but that’s still not it. The real lesson is that we are all fragile, emotional beings. And no matter how stalwart or stoic one may seem, we all need a little support from time to time. We’re in this together, and it’s only by sticking together and helping each other out in our times of need that we’ll live to see a new era.

Give what you can of yourself to those around you. You might just be surprised how much of an impact it has.

Episode 36: Random Acts Of Kindness 2

Last week, I posted about how I’d become inspired to do one random act of kindness per day for a full week. So this week I thought I’d give you folks a rundown of the sorts of things I did. This way if you thought maybe it sounded like a good idea but didn’t know how to go about it, I could give you some ideas. I think I might have listed some of my acts in the previous post, but I don’t remember which ones, so I’ll just start with day 1, and move from there…

Day 1:
While at work, I bought water bottles for the people I was working with that day. They were 50 cents apiece, so it proved to be a highly affordable option, and also featured tangible evidence that my actions had an effect when one of the girls told me that she’d paid it forward later in the day.

Day 2:
Being a holiday (Victoria Day in Canada), I stayed home most of the day. But even then I managed to find an option. I helped my mum with some housework that I don’t normally do (yes I live with my parents at the moment, there’s a very long and unnecessary explanation that goes with it, so just forget about it and let’s move on).

Day 3:
I was at work and overheard an elderly couple discussing purchasing some artichokes. I had the box of fresh ones already and was set to work on the display shortly, but instead of waiting, I let them know that I would be filling it that moment, and if they wanted some of the older ones for a reduced price, I could get a bag’s worth ready for them. I even filled the bag a bit more than I usually do. From the thanks and smiles, I think it safe to say mission accomplished for day 3.

Day 4:
Again, a small gesture (notice a trend here yet?). I simply taped enough money for a chocolate bar to the vending machine at work with a little note explaining what it was, and asking for the recipient to pay it forward. I tried to add a little humour to the note also, so that it might inspire that extra little smile.

Day 5:
Finished work for the day and waiting to head home, I saw a woman loading bags of soil into her car. I went over to help her (despite the fact that normally when I’m done a shift I could care less about doing more work), and at the end a smile and a thank you were waiting for me.

Day 6:
Went to Tim Hortons (a coffee shop) for breakfast and bought the next two coffees after me. I suppose anonymous acts are more in the vein of a proper random act of kindness so this is a more appropriate example, but really I think doing anything you wouldn’t normally do counts.

Day 7:
I wanted to finish with more of a grand gesture for day 7. As the final day of the challenge, it seemed somehow appropriate to have a grand finale. Lickily, I knew just what to do. I’d recently met a girl who’d been pretty much forced into moving to a new area (conveniently the area I live in), and not only had she seemed pretty bummed about the move itself, but her birthday was coming up soon, and she didn’t really know anyone in the area, so she wasn’t planning on celebrating and seemed down about that too. Now interestingly enough her birthday landed on the same day as day 7 of my challenge. So I thought about what I could do. Then I remembered one of my friends loves to bake. So I called in a favour with her, to bake a cake themed to the new girl’s favourite chocolate/candy. Today was the day for the reveal, and you should have seen how happy and bright she became. It was a thing of beauty, folks. Truly a finale fit to be called grand.

So now the challenge is ended, and what have we learned? Well, I learned that not only do I give the world hope for a better tomorrow, but that from my inspiration, others are bringing hope as well. I learned (or I should say was reminded) that it’s not always about what you do or how much you spend on it, but rather just that you’re doing it at all. But also I finally realized that all those times when people have said that it’s better to give than to receive… They were absolutely 100% right. This has been one of the best and most fulfilling weeks of my life so far, and I am seriously considering making this a life-long challenge. It’s hard to keep thinking up new ways to perform a random act, but it’s good for the soul, and it’s good for those around me that I’ve touched with these acts.

They say you should be the change you want to see. Well, I’m doing my best, what about you?

Episode 35: Random Acts Of Kindness

It’s been a while since I’ve posted here, but part of that is because it’s mostly been business as usual for me. Nothing terribly special has happened or given me pause and the desire to write. I’ll grant you, I specifically didn’t want to give myself deadlines so I wouldn’t feel pressured to making less than worthy posts, so technically I did nothing in the wrong, but still I feel like I’ve been neglecting this, and that was not my intention. However, with that said, something has come up, and it’s something I feel I should share with you all.

Yesterday I decided on a whim to perform a random act of kindness. It was nothing major, I simply bought bottles of water for some of the folks I worked with. It cost me very little, and not just in terms of money. And interestingly enough, I heard back from one of the girls that she’d paid it forward and paid for someone’s order at Tim Hortons (a ridiculously popular coffee shop, for those of you living outside Canada). Now alone in and of itself, my act had me feeling pretty good. Here I was, having done something nice for others. But then to hear that my actions had had a ripple effect and passed on to another, I wondered how far that ripple might go. It’s amazing what one simple action can set in motion, sometimes.

But the deed having been done, I soon moved on and went about my business. After all, they’re small gestures, and not truly something significant, right? Well I was wrong. A friend of mine posted today about his own random act of kindness, and proposed a challenge: one act every day for a week. And I thought, why not? I could certainly do that.

And that’s when it hit me. Each small gesture has a grand effect. Not only does it help restore faith in a world quickly becoming mired in selfishness and entitlement, but it also inspires others to do good in their own lives when they hear the story. I wasn’t the one who benefitted from my friend’s actions, but his words inspired me to take up the challenge and to inspire others to do the same. I posted a status to Facebook, urging my own friends to take the challenge, but still that didn’t seem enough. Still I thought I could do better.

Which brings us here. To WordPress, where the world can share in the story, and with any luck be inspired to change the world. You don’t have to take up the week-long challenge like I did. Just try to start with one thing. And should you do so, leave a comment with your story so that others might be inspired as well. Share this post on Facebook so that your own friends will be inspired. I know it seems like a bit of an attention grab, but to be honest, I’ve just always wanted to do something that would make the world a better place. I know I can’t do it alone though. And so I ask you: help me plant those seeds, and together let us watch them bloom into a better world.

Episode 34: Written In A Drunken Stupor

Okay, so I lied. I’m not actually drunk right now. But hey, what a great segway, because Rob Ford lies too, and he’s who I’m planning on writing about today! Isn’t that great? Sure it is. Because nothing is better than cashing in on a trend while it’s still luke-warm. Okay. Moving on…

Let me first say this. I don’t support Rob Ford, but nor am I strictly against him. I haven’t paid enough attention to his actual politicking to really get an idea of how he did as an actual mayor, and I think some of his scandals are a little overblown. So he was caught coming out of a KFC while dieting. Most diets I know let you have a cheat day anyways. And so he dropped out of his public weight loss challenge. Do you know the kind of inner strength you need to have in order to make a drastic change in your life? Not everyone has that, and to make matters worse, ol’ Rob’s change was a huge public affair, that people were putting insane amounts of pressure on him for. I don’t know that I would have even been able to do it, and I’d like to think I have an incredible amount of willpower.

All of that being said, he has made some incredibly stupid mistakes, and lied about them in an attempt to save face. And it’s true, he does hold a public office. He needs to present a good image for the world.

But part of the problem is that we as a people sensationalized both his scandals, and his… “Scandals”. The world stage might not be so keen to ridicule us had we kept it a little more quiet. Sometimes rather than broadcast your problems to the world whining about how bad your situation is, you need to keep them to yourself and actually solve them.

I’m sure if I looked into things, I could find details of all the good things he’s done as mayor, and just as easily (or perhaps more easily based on the hate he’s getting these days) find a list of his failings. The fact of the matter is, this is still a (barely) democratic system. If you don’t like him, don’t vote for him. If you do like him, then by all means, tick that little box. Wow. Such a complicated concept.

Frankly, I’m getting a little sick of hearing how unhappy people are with their current politicians. If it’s not Rob Ford, it’s Stephen Harper. If it’s not Harper, then it’s Jean Chretien. If it’s not Chretien, then it’s whatever idiot we feel like yelling at in that particular moment. Sorry these are all Canadian influences, by the way, but I am an inhabitant of a suburb of Toronto, so my personal experience is somewhat limited to Canadian politicians. I doubt any of us thought that any of these people would be as bad as they were (although personally I knew Harper would be a tool before he got elected, and I have a soft spot for Chretien, so I can’t hate on that silly man). But lo and behold, we discovered they were. Well, the answer is to ensure that their crazier ideas are shot down either via protest or mass-mailing your local politicians. And if not that, then just grit your teeth, understand that your country made that choice all by yourselves, and live with the consequences. Then, when the time comes that they’re up for re-election, kick their asses out of office faster than the next death in Game Of Thrones (because you all know it’s only a few pages or an episode away, even if someone has already just died).

Personally though, I don’t believe we’ll ever see a truly great leader as long as our political system is built the way it is. The choices are almost always: bad, worse, and worst. Because the sorts of people who want the office are almost always not the ones best suited to hold it. Democracy is great, but our candidates should be nominated by the general population, not by an individual’s desire to run. And we need to accept harsh changes sometimes by knowing that it is indeed for the best (which we will of course know to be best by having done the research beforehand). But I’m just living in a fantasy with that hullabaloo. Rob Ford wasn’t the first idiot to hold a public office, and he most definitely won’t be the last either.

The moral of the story? We’re doomed.

Episode 33: The Only Message You Need

I went stumbling on one of my internet journeys earlier today, and it set me to reflecting on my life. All of the things that have happened to me, that continue to happen, and that likely will happen in the future based on who I’ve grown to be. It’s not a fairy tale. They usually aren’t. But I realized there is one important piece of advice that I can impart. Something I suspect won’t seem like much help to someone in a similar situation as my own. I know I certainly wouldn’t put much store by these words if I wasn’t the one saying them myself. And indeed I wish I had more than just words to give you. But hopefully they’re enough to at least help you through the darkest of your days.

So let me begin by saying that I come from what some people would call a dysfunctional family. Others might call it a broken home. I just call it messed up. I won’t go into too many details because I believe my parents deserve some privacy in their lives, but there’s been any number of different varieties of abuse handed out from all parties. Myself included. I won’t sugar-coat my life and it’s struggles. This is meant to help those in the same type of situation, and it will never do that if you don’t understand the situation in the first place. Alongside the abuse there’s been financial struggles. My parents are in debt over their heads, adding tension and all sorts of other problems to the ones we already had.

I’ve blocked out a large portion of my early life. I have bits and pieces here and there, of both the good and the bad, but from what I can make out, life was generally fairly simple for me. A lot of things worked themselves out without my personal involvement. But the problems still affected me. There’s nothing like being less than ten years old and trying to physically separate your parents so they won’t argue, despite the fact that you’re probably only about a tenth of either of their strengths. I had an older brother, so generally at least it was two against one, but even so we rarely succeeded. I learned very early on to handle failure and move on. So I guess score one point to me. Yay.

The years passed and the problems only got worse. On top of the family problems, I became an outcast in school. It was not my decision, and I can directly connect my home life as the cause for my being ostracized. But I’m not trying to place blame. I’m simply saying that any aspect of your life will affect another aspect. Possibly even every other aspect. Nothing can be perfectly compartmentalized. Thank god I had my small group of friends, who either didn’t realize what was going on or didn’t care. Without them I could have turned out much much worse than I did.

But without feeling welcome in the real world (teenagers can be huge asshats), I turned more often than not to the internet. The soft glow from the screen bathing me in its safety an comfort. It was there I found my closest friends, the ones I felt most comfortable talking to about my hideous situation, and the ones I could most easily forget about it with. My situation never improved, but I was more able to ignore and distance myself from it. It became habit, and I avoided letting myself get truly close with anyone or fully trust them.

I still to this day struggle to trust people, but that’s not wholly my family’s fault. Some failed relationships have really hit close to home. I gave everything I had to them all, in turn. But through it all, I’ve come down hard on myself. Always ready to blame myself for any number of problems, always ready to give my own blood if it will make someone I care about smile. I have very little I can speak of as accomplishments in my life as a result. In fact, I still haven’t moved out from my family’s home at 28 years old, because I’m still giving them all the help I can, including working two jobs and seeing almost none of the money myself. But money is nothing. If my help were actually moving us all forward in a positive way, then it would be a small price to pay.

Through all this though, I still see a glimmer of hope in my own life. It’s buried deeply, and seemingly had no place in the rest of the things surrounding me, but (and here comes that all-important piece of advice)…

It does get better.

My life has been steadily improving as the years press on, and the more incredible the circumstances or the way you deal with them, the harder your struggle will be, but seeing the positive is the only thing that will truly help. I can’t even begin to explain it, unless you’re already in your own transition period, in which case I don’t have to. But that’s as simple as I can make it. Life will improve. Not on it’s own, not by a long shot, but it will. You’re going to have to fight for every inch you gain, and for every three steps forward, you’ll likely be forced back two and a half, but progress is progress. And at the end of it all, you will be a better person for it.

Now, you might ask: who am I to say these things when I haven’t even freed myself from the mire I find myself in? And I would say I fully understand and agree. You don’t have any reason to listen to me. Other than the fact that you want to. Because we all need hope. A very dangerous commodity to be sure, but handled properly, it can be the single greatest tool in your arsenal. But hope’s fickle nature is an idea for another day.

For now, if you need someone to remind you just how strong you are, just remember that I do believe in you. I fight my own fight for you.