I was thinking today about the phrase “love them for their flaws”, and something occurred to me… That’s a ridiculous thing to say.
You see, no one will love someone for their flaws. They’ll love them for the traits they like, the things that make them good people, or those happy little quirks that make us giggle. The flaws become things that we put up with because of all the good things. And yeah, no one’s perfect. But everyone is perfect for someone. But it’s not because they’re flawed. It’s because they’ve got exactly the most important qualities someone is looking for.
For instance, the girl I’m interested in right now has some of what I’d consider flaws. She smokes cigarettes occasionally, and I’m not a fan really. But I’m more than happy to look the other way on that one when you take into account the fact that she considers trust to be of utmost importance. I’d rather have a partner I can trust who smokes than one who’s never smoked a day in her life but I can’t trust. You take the good with the bad, because you’ll never find someone who’s only got the good. You compromise on some of the less important issues in order to get what you want where it matters most. And sometimes those issues will result in an argument or some other form of conflict. But then it comes down to your ability to communicate and be reasonable. Those are what make a healthy relationship.
So really, it just kind of bugs me when people claim that you should love someone for their flaws. Because there are always so many better reasons to love them.