Tag Archives: respect

Episode 21: The Perspective Of Respect

I’m sure I’ve touched on the subject of respect before, but for today’s rant I think I’ll focus solely on the phrase “respect your elders”. But before I begin, a typical disclaimer: as you’ll likely see from what I’m about to write, I am completely supportive of respect. In fact I don’t believe it should be limited to just your elders, but your peers, those younger, different species (ie: dogs, snakes, platypuses (platypi?), etc) and especially the natural world. But that being said, with the exception of animals and nature, that respect needs to be earned. By all means treat a stranger with respect (they’ve done nothing to you at this point), but if someone doesn’t show you respect, I believe they forfeit their right to your respect. This is still true of anyone, and I wanted to talk mainly of the phrase “respect your elders”, so with that in mind, let’s examine the phrase itself.

So why should you respect your elder? They’ve lived longer, they’ve experienced more of what life has to offer, and are wiser for it… At least, that’s what they’d have you believe. More and more, I’m faced with people who are older than me, yet far less mature. Or if mature enough, still less courteous, and clearly wrong about certain things. Just one example is any of the countless people who shop at any retail location anywhere on the planet, and treat the employees like they’re the scum of the Earth. Now to be fair, these employees are of all ages, so it’s not always a case of an elder treating someone younger badly. But that situation does still happen (especially at fast food chains or grocery stores, where the employee base is mainly younger students), and even if it didn’t the people treating employees badly are still douchebags (hot tip you’ve likely heard before: the customer is not always right).

I’m sorry, but if you can’t treat the people who serve you with respect, then you don’t deserve any respect in return. That’s just the way I see things, and I think I can say with certainty that I will always see it that way. So elder or not, respect begets respect. Remember too (just as Fight Club taught us), that the people serving you are in a position to screw with you. They could mishandle your groceries (oops, all your eggs are broken and you’ll never know until you get home!), they could mishandle your package (oops, it just went down the wrong conveyor, and is now bound for an international location far from your intended destination!), or they could mishandle your meal (oops, some of my HIV-laden saliva fell on your burger!). You may never know it happened, or who did it, but you might still feel the effects, and they’ll certainly know they got their little bit of vengeance. My point is, it would behoove you to be polite and respectful, because not everyone will hold back on those vengeful impulses like I would (or would I? le gasp!).

On a different facet of the same issue, I once had one of the older fellows I work with tell me that he knew the little tricks I used to avoid certain work, or to go slow, or whatever else. He went on to tell me how I shouldn’t think he is unaware, because he’s older and knows more than me. There’s two things I’d like to say about that. Firstly, he has his own “tricks”, and he’s sorely mistaken if he thinks I haven’t noticed them. That’s a matter of being observant, not a matter of experience. Secondly, being older does not necessarily make someone more intelligent or keen-eyed. It falls back to being observant, and learning from your experiences. Not to mention, on occasion, a younger person may have experienced more than an older one, and if they’ve learned from those experiences, then it would follow that they’re more intelligent than the older person. We’ve seen it so many times, where a child has more sense than an adult. And now with so many of the “yolo” generation aging, there’s a very real possibility that the new generation of children are more sensible. I mean, come on. Look at these idiots we’re churning out now. It’s not hard to be more intelligent than that.

But sensibility is besides the point. Because this episode is about respect. And this older guy I work with? Well this holier-than-thou attitude is part of the lack of respect. Every day I start fresh though, and give him the respect I know he doesn’t fully deserve. And more often than not, he shows me again that I’ve made a mistake to give him that respect.

But this is the heart of it. Young or old, man or woman, tall or short. Treat everyone the same, and give them respect. But don’t be unconditional, and don’t let people abuse that respect. If they’re being stupid (or more realistically a douchebag), then don’t give them the respect they don’t deserve. I’m not saying be an outright ass to them, because that doesn’t solve anything, but rather remove them from your life, or ignore them, or some other passive-aggressive response. They’re not worth your energy anyway.


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Episode 20: We Are The Unique

Soooooo… I’m going to shock you all I’m sure, when I say that at the time of my writing this, I am signed up with an online dating website (that’s right, ladies – this hunk o’ burnin’ love is still available for a limited time). It’s a concept I can appreciate, but not one I enjoy. I signed up because, well, let’s face it, I don’t meet all that many people, and the ones I do meet I tend to work with. I’ve been down that road before, and if the exact right set of circumstances were to present themselves, I might consider it again, but based on the way things went the first time, I’d rather not repeat the experience. So for now, it’s mostly off the table. Which meant I needed a new way to meet people. Online dating seemed the logical choice (of course when did logic ever serve a useful purpose, but even so…) and so there I went, making up a profile. But I had reservations. I think I make a much better impression in-person than I do through a profile online, so I’m not terribly keen on the rigamarole (finally an opportunity to use that word!) involved with online dating…

Annnd, where am I going with this, you might ask. Good question, I almost forgot where I wanted to go with this myself. The bottom line is this: I’ve looked at a shockingly high number of profiles, and though there are always differences in wording and some particulars, a surprising percentage all say the same thing… They make claims of being unique, but then proceed to list largely the same criteria for their men (confident, funny, honest, etc), as well as certain things like “I like to go out with friends, but also kick back at home and relax, cuddling and watching/reading a movie/book sometimes”. They’re not bad qualities, and the things they want from a man are perfectly understandable and acceptable, but when everyone’s looking for those, then that hardly makes you unique. I mean, almost all of these profiles even explain that they are a tomboy at heart, but know how to (or like to) get dressed up for a night out on the town. So basically what I’m seeing here is that we’ve been raising generations of girls (and probably men too), who think they’re so different from all these other girls because they have exactly the same mindset as every other girl.

And let me be clear, I know I’m not all that unique. I mean, obviously there are certain traits or life events that set me apart from most people, but I also know that I will not stand out from the crowd. In fact, I’m more likely to blend into the background because I’m not all that outspoken. Sure, I can be roused or riled up, but I’m normally so relaxed about everything that it takes a lot to get me there. I lack any significant passion for most everything, and so I fade into the background. Which I’m sure is part of my problem when it comes to being single. I’m confident enough in who I am, but I’m not delusional either. I know I’m not the be-all and end-all of the universe. Although sometimes I kind of wish I was. But that’s another story for another time.

To get somewhat back on track though… I find also that though they all make a big show of not being too picky about who someone is as long as they have “chemistry”, a lot of them will not respond at all, or will respond enough to start up a conversation, but then will just suddenly stop answering (I can only assume because someone “better” came along). The second one bothers me most. The first one, well maybe they don’t see what they like. I can understand that, not everyone can appreciate my own brand of oddity. But for you to obviously be interested enough to start that conversation, and sometimes keep it up for days, but then just drop it completely for someone you only assume will be better? I just don’t agree with that. At the very least, keep both going until you can actually decide which you like better. And then if you’re going to break off contact, have the decency to say so. Give a guy some respect, you know? I realize that when it comes to online dating men are a dime a dozen, and we’re all fighting for the same few women who aren’t completely batty (you know, like the cat lady from The Simpsons). Women naturally will have their pick of the litter, but that doesn’t mean you should snub someone just because you change your mind partway through.

Think about it like this… If you were dating someone, and along walked a far more handsome man (or woman) than the one you were with just walked by and winked at you, would you instantly just ditch the one you’re with to be with that new one instead? Some of you probably just said yes, didn’t you? Well to that all I can say is think about what you just did to the poor guy (or girl) you ran out on. What if you were happy with that person beforehand? And now that you’ve insulted them, they won’t take you back. What if that new guy (or girl) doesn’t work out and you just screwed up something great? And before you go screaming about how a girl should never settle for less than she deserves… I’m not suggesting you should settle. Find someone you’re happy with, by all means. But if you have found that person, don’t be so ready to assume you can do better.

I’ve made this much longer than I’d originally planned, and veered off-topic though, so let me sum up by saying this: remember that no one is truly unique, and we all still fit into neat little categories. Granted what works for one person might not work for the next, but you’ll never know until you try, and so you should never turn your nose up at a promising potential. But — and I cannot stress this enough — no matter what happens, be respectful towards others. We’re all in this together and looking for love in our own strange ways.

I hope things go much better for you than they have so far for me, and thanks for reading. I feel like this one was a bit harsh.


Filed under Ramblings